Thursday, September 27, 2007

September woes

I generally avoid writing about my personal life in my blog but this time I think it is too relevant to ignore. This will also help clarify, just in case, dear friends, you wondered why I wasn't updating my blog.

By the way, I admire the courage and frankness of those bloggers who write beautiful details about their personal life in their blogs. I am a little shy in these matters.

Is everything all right? It was not all right but now it is. Thank God.

My daughter Zara had joined a child care centre in late August and on the 4th day itself she came home with fever. We gave her paracetamol and the fever went away over the weekend. But it came back with a vengeance on Monday.

My parents were going back to India on Sep 8 (after 4 months of their stay here) and the same day we had to hospitalise Zara. She had been running very high fever for more than 3 days and when there was no improvement after 3 days of medication, her doctor advised hospitalisation. She was on drip for 3 days and was discharged on the 4th.

Given Zara's condition, my parents wanted to stay on for one more week but the airline was unable to give next dates until October. So, I told them to go back to India anyway. My younger sister in India was to deliver a baby and her reports were not coming out well. So anxiety on both fronts.

Before Zara fell sick, my wife got a job with a firm. She had gone to office only for two days when Zara was hospitalised.

My parents were supposed to stay on until January or thereabouts so that they could take care of Zara. But they had this Hajj programme and also because of my sister's upcoming delivery, they could not stay any longer. So, there, man proposes and God disposes. This upset all our planning.

Both of us had to stay on in the hospital. Shabana could not go to office for the next one week. Now she has joined back and I have made an arrangement with my office to work from home. So these days, I've been fasting and working and babysitting Zara and it is all so very strenuous. Meanwhile, we had been searching for a maid and running from agency to agency. Last week we interviewed a Filipina maid and applied for the Govt's approval. Two days back, we finally got the maid, and things seems to be getting better now. From this Friday, I think I shall be able to resume normal work from my office.

That, is a long story, cut short for you. When I wrote to a friend about my September woes, he said: "That, as Alice says, is a long and sad tale. But no sympathies - these are pangs of fatherhood and I have been through them thrice. Insha Allah, all will be fine, as it usually is, but the mid course travails are really blood sucking."

If you are an experienced parent, I am sure you will say the same thing. But there are some lessons here for those who are not married or planning a child.


Obiter Dictum said...

What has man not suffered for his child! Zafar, am glad all has turned out well.

Can't remember from which poem of Moraes is this fragment:

I held my child
In my arms and felt how soon
Our children make us die.

My son, the second born kicked me in the chin the day he was born, just seconds into his life. The doctor and the nurse were frantic, he is turning blue, not breathing. Now I live in a small town, the drive from the this hospital to the other where a pedeatrician is is short, but it felt long as the nurse holding him squirmed and tried in vain to pump oxygen into him.

I carried him and put him on the table, he wailed, a long and melodious cry.

"What's wrong with the boy?' the doctor now asks me, "why have you brought him here."

"Oh, that! it is his revenge for the welts on the ass." The doctor turns the shrivelly piece of living flesh and looks at the ass.

"There is nothing there." Doctors don't have any sense of humor, we all know that.

"There will be doct, by god there will be one, I will see to that."

Good of you to keep us posted man, so keep us posted.

Obiter Dictum said...

God, I was verbose and didn't realize it, apologies.

Zafar Anjum said...

That was a tale beautifully told. No, I don't mind the verbosity. Go on. Thanks OD.

suzanabrams said...

I have just happened on your blog after a long spell.
So sorry to read of your recent crisis.
I'm relieved for you and your family that all is well and getting better.
Here's continuing to wish you the very best in your ongoing - of course, you mustn't stop :-) - pursuits of films, books, literature and your own writing ambitions.
Take care wherever your journey brings you, Zafar.

Zafar Anjum said...

Hi Suzan, thanks. Hope things are great at your end.

Sharanya Manivannan said...

Sending you my best wishes to you and your family this Ramadan. These are trying times, but you'll pull through fine.

Zafar Anjum said...

Thanks Sharanya):

Read@Peace said...

Hi Zafar
Just saw this post. Hope all is well with you, Shabana and Zara. I know the feeling. The joys of parenthood, they tell us. Do let us know if we can be of any help.

Zafar Anjum said...

Thanks Deepika. Things are ok now. Yes, these are the joys of parenthood but in a twisted way.

bibliobibuli said...

hi zafar. was busy, was in bali and then was sick. it's good to catch up with you, but so sorry that you had such a difficult time juggling everything.

hope everything is fine again now and wish you and your family a very happy Eid

Zafar Anjum said...

Thanks Sharon. Things have been better since I last wrote about my bad experiences here.

God keeps us busy and anxious in various forms and all we can do is try to be a 'man' all the time, with enough dignity and poise.

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